Doctor C. and my fellow "freaks of nature"

My local eye doctor came into the salon today and while her hair processes I've been known to chat with her.
 ( she said she doesnt' mind) Turns out her sister lives across the street from me.Such a small world. I told her about my recent pain development.  She found it interesting and puzzling. I told her she should be so glad she didn't do surgery on me as I think I've turned into, "that patient", meaning I think they find me high maintenance.  I don't want to be high maintenance. But I know I kind of am.  I don't want to be. Trust me! I'd like to just be fine and go away too!
I read an article on Shingles and ran that by her.  She lit up with that comment saying that could actually make sense.  A year and half ago I had shingles on the right side of my mid torso. It's possible that this nerve pain could be related to shingles.  She also explained a couple other things to me and repeated the fact, a couple of times that I don't follow the 'rules'.  She doesn't know I call myself the 'freak of nature.'
Pain was around 1 to 2 with little surges of pain that don't develop.  Just used ibup. no tramadol tonight.

Top 10 Freaks of Nature - Watch the top videos of the week here

Finally

Ahhh,  today, so far, at 2:38p.m. no intense pain.  Two nights of Tramadol and it's calmed down - for now.  Yesterday was quite rough late in the day.  Probably a 5 on the pain scale.  I'm just sleepy now from the benedryl and pain med.  Let's hope it calms down now for a while.  6 days straight is long enough.  And I don't like that other people can see it.  Today - no comments that start with 'What's wrong with your eye"
I just want to enjoy my eyes. Just say no to pain.
11:50p.m Well I think my silly crease brush is aggravating my eye.  How silly, how could a little makeup brush trigger this much pain. I've noticed for quite some time it's tender when I put on my eyeshadow. Pain returned tonight but I didn't wait til it got too far gone.   I must go to bed as it's late and all my little meds have kicked in.  but, can I just say, I"M ITCHY!

Pain theories

 I spoke to the doctor tonight, unfortunately no great explanations. I'm quite frustrated but am going to try to just forget about it and stay busy.  This is the " freak of nature factor" There's nothing I can do about. Sometimes I forget that I'm a freak of nature, then things like this remind me. Nobody really knows why these random things happen they just do.  It would take a lot of pain for a long time for me to pursue medical help with this pain.  I have a feeling it has to do something with my Trigeminal nerve and  I can't worry about that, just pray the intense pain stays away.
4/27/10 I walk into work today and two different people asked what was wrong with my eye.  One said it was red below my eye the other said my top lid was droopy. They didn't even know what happened this weekend. Lovely. I know my brow feels heavy and it feels stiff under my eye but it didn't jump out at me at home.  I'm going back to the eye ectomy plan. Just kidding.  It's just that this eye/face pain is killing my buzz!  I am so happy with my eye results and so frustrated with this unexplained pain.
4/28 - got some pain relief last night with Tramadol. It just makes me itch.  Life's a trade off isn't it? Pain relief but itchy.  Great eyesight but pain...
My friend came over tonight - had no clue the pain I've been in and she says, What's wrong with your eye?

One long week...

Rt. Eye really smarts today like it did last Sunday, but it's been a long week.  Hopefully with rest it will improve.  The eye is wanting me to 'splint' it, as Holmes would say.  I'm moving my head instead of my eyes and letting my lid be partially closed.
4/25/10 Awoke with the same pain not as severe as last night - took two ibup.  Pain returns by noon.  I took two tylenol tension headache - and went to the Kingdom Hall.  Absolutely no change actually got way worse - entire quadrant aches.  Ended up 45 min. into mtg going in the back and laying down after crying for a minute out of shear frustration. Felt a little relief after closing my eyes for 1/2 hour.  Now I'm home and just took 4 ibuprofen and am going to sleep for a bit so hopefully that will knock it out as I have plenty to do.  Very frustrated today.  Again, I'm not complaining really I'm just leaving my frustrations here on the blog.  No pity please just let me vent.

6 Months Gone

Yesterday Kari and I went down to Rochester for my 6 mo. check up.  It went good.  I was very stressed in anticipation of what the doctor would say happened when he spoke with Dr. Egghead.  All of that stress is for naught as Egghead didn't go to the conference so my dr. wasn't able to speak to him.  Maybe in October.  Which is fine.  It will give me more time to chill.

My eyes are doing just fine.  My rt eye is still hypertropic which I knew but I'm glad he saw it instead of me pointing it out.  Then tonight at the Kingdom Hall all my friends were asking me how it went, when I mentioned my rt eye is still higher they told me they already noticed that.  AWK!  I thought it was my little secret.  But that's okay. I don't see double and that's what matters. Oh and of course my head is straight!  I love it.

I laughed at that silly camera he always pulls out.  I just picture myself in the medical dictionary, you know the one that you just page through and cringe with horror.  Only most of those the persons eyes are blocked out.  Only with EYE surgery there's no blocking out of eyes.  :)

Kari and I laughed all the way home about when Holmes said EVERYONE  has to get reading glasses after age 40!  HA!  I am 36.  I do not want to think about my 40's thank you.   But Kari and I have been together since we were toddlers so we have been aging together.  We recalled the time we were in 9th grade in the lunch room lamenting that we would never get to be seniors.  Well that was a few years back. 

I told them about the 3D movies.  They did say that I wouldn't have been able to see it before surgery. So that was cool.  I thought the technology was so great anyone could see that.  But they said no.  So That makes my 3D movie experiment that much more exciting.  

Today my eye hurt for most of the day.  I'm just too tired this week.  The doctor mentioned he could inject something into it if he needed.  I'd rather eat shards of glass!  I have a fear of needles in my eyes thanks to Egghead.

So all in all.  It was just fine. No need to stress the way I did.  Those 3 people at Mayo are so nice to me I wish I could do something wonderful for each of them. Ginny, Sarah and Dr. Holmes.  God Bless them all.

Eye Indicator

Tomorrow I go down again to Mayo for my 6 mo. check up. I'm anxious about it but don't really know why.  My eyes are great.  I just haven't gotten a lot of sleep this past few days not because I can't sleep.  I just don't go to bed.  Mostly due to my silly Brother and his adorable wife talking til the wee wee hours on Skype.
My eye now has a new function. " Sleep indicator" when I need to sleep it sends me a strong signal to go to bed.
The signal makes you grab your eye and grab your ibuprofen bottle. Just like after you get hit in the face with a baseball bat! I hadn't experienced this much 'feeling' in weeks.  I appreciated the indicator and took it's advice and went to bed.

Hopefully, my lack of sleep doesn't hinder my little "test" results tomorrow.
This photo is taken with my web cam while we were talking. So you can see we feel we are all in the same room together.  It's a total blast!

Reaction to Blog

A few people have emailed after reading some of this blog saying things like, "sorry, you're having issues"  Etc Etc.
I just want to be sure that who ever reads this blog understands a couple things.
#1. My eyes are great!  This has been a miracle for me.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I wouldn't have my constant companion - double vision.  I am so happy with the outcome of this surgery
#2. the purpose of this blog is really for me to leave my thoughts here and not carry them around with me.
#3. Yes, I have been dealing with some odd feelings that truthfully are a little post traumatic stress in regards to my previous surgeries.  I think it's ptsd because it was Post - in the past - it was a bit traumatic and stressful.Disorder because I don't understand why I feel this way.   I know with time it will lessen and finally  I won't have emotion when this subject comes up.

Bottom line.  I am ecstatic with the outcome, and I fell blessed that I had this amazing surgery and it was such a huge success. This is in my top 3 best things that have ever happened to me.  So don't say sorry to me.  Say Congrats!

Voicemails

When my cardiologist' nurse calls and leaves a message the same day as Mayo leaves a message.  I wish they could start with "your heart is just fine"  but we need to ask you a question.  I had a 1/2 hour that reminded me alot of surprise phone call I got  9 years ago.
Here I thought that nothing could derail this inner joy I have about my eyes.  Well, this little scare showed me, oh yes, heart problems could seriously dampen my eye joy.
But it was just a scare - so I'm still happy.

My operated eye really ached about an hour after I got up this morning, noticed it when I ate breakfast.  I had already taken 3 ibuprofen for other "normal" pain.  But my eye really hurt.
I noticed too that I couldn't tweeze at work today. It's a little frustrating.  I have to put the tweezers down and take a mini break sometimes cuz I get frustrated.  I call it 'swing and a miss'  I can't quite grab 'em. I thought I was past that. But maybe when it's just when I'm in pain I can't tweeze.
No pain though after the ibuprofen had kicked in.  Pain came back around 5 for a little while didn't take anything it went away on it's own.  Why does it hurt?  Whoooooo knows.

Need to write

Okay, so I worked all day doing nothing but facials.  Facials are great to receive and give but by facial number 3 the technician starts getting bored.  And  a little more daring, I might add, as I want SOMETHING interesting to happen. Anyway,  I had, what I term an Oprah moment, or an Aha, moment, visiting with a first time client.  Client number 2.  Sweet thing!  So we're talking about whether it is a blessing or a curse to be in tune with your body/mind etc and how it is affected by even little things.  So I say to her. "I've had this sore throat for two weeks."  (Cuz I have) She right away says, 'oh, that means your having trouble voicing something or communicating something."  Well, whatever, and it's hard to explain but I have learned there is something to these theories - sometimes.  But right away my mind goes back to when I recently found this  letter from egghead to Dr. Lucius.  I think I blogged about it before.  It was about two weeks ago I found that letter. And it has bothered me ever since.  So much I didn't want it in the house anymore but didn't think I should chuck it as maybe there is something relevant to it. Just wish I had found it before surgery.  So I got rid of it by mailing it to Dr. Holmes.  That guy must think I'm a freak.  Oh well, maybe I am.  But you would be too if you were. :)
I am just for some reason upset by anything 'egghead'.
I don't remember all the details from that long ago.  When I read the letter - well, here I was 25 not 26 like I thought.  Well, if I goofed up my memory of my age, what else did I goof up? I feel like blaming myself all over again and for what?  I just know something wasn't right back there  but I can't put my finger on it.  I really would like someone to explain to me what they think, because at the moment I honestly don't know what to think.  I'm not trusting my memory of it.   I wish Dr. Holmes could tell me his summary of what he thinks  from his perspective, how should it have been handled? Did 'egbert' do all the right things and I just didn't understand. I'm sure that I would not have wanted to go back for rechecks with him but why didn't he explain why I needed to go back for rechecks?  It's like I need validation again.  I already got that back when Dr. Holmes said he'd speak with Egbert.  How much more validation could you need?
Anyway, after that client stated this communication problem theory.  I kinda think she's right. So writing is good for me to sort out all of this stuff.
All I know about the past for sure is how I feel about it.  For some reason it makes me feel really bad.  Kind of sick and nauseous. Like I can't eat.  I don't remember what was all said and done, but I do remember how I felt and how I feel now about it.
Wish someone could explain it to me. 'Cuz I don't understand why I feel the way I do.  I'm fixed why does this still bug me?


04/24/10 - My sore throat is gone now.  Funny it's only after my Dr. Appointment.  Who knows?

Memo to self

Don't make cross eyes back at silly kids making faces at me - it hurts.
What my mother said may be true, " your eyes are going to stay like that!"
Maybe that's what happened to me  years ago.  I must have made cross eyes at others and my eyes stuck.  Just joking.
Not too much pain lately as long as I don't do stupid eye tricks.