1:30 a.m.

I don't care what you say.  Fatigue caused by my crazy schedule preceded by lack of sleep equals eye pain.
My rt eye was smarting pretty good.  I went to the chiro. today and I had too many other things wrong with me that he didn't do acupuncture on my eye, we opted for fixing my rt leg today instead along with my jaw. Anyway,   I took a tramadol before bed.  THAT WAS A MISTAKE!  Pain is stronger waking me up but now I also itch to high heaven and my breathing is real shallow. I took the dumb pill thinking I'd sleep like a rock and awake for the busy day I again have tomorrow. UGH.
Interesting though now that I think about it. I have been tilting a lot due to my fatigue, so around my left occipital I had pain the last few days then my jaw partially dislocated. Chiro adjusted both of these.  Both irritate the TN.  Every once in a while I create the perfect storm but don't realize it til moments like these.
Eyes!  Can't live with em, cant' live without em.
A few more minutes and the benedryl should kick in and hopefully the itching will subside enough so I can sleep.  Hope I'm not too groggy in the a.m. as I have to be up and at em early and do it all over again.  How am I going to juggle all of this if my friend comes to live with us while she is dying?Guess my eyes gonna hurt more. Oh well.

Tracking the pattern

I went for a short 20 min. bike ride last night.  The wind triggered the pain last night.  But when I stopped biking the pain went away about an hour later.  Now this morning it is back pretty strong under the eye starting mostly with the infraorbital nerve then across the cheek bone to my ear. The eye feels weak and like it just wants to close today. I just took 3 ibup. so should ease up.  You just can't prevent all things that will trigger the pain. That being said, I can live with this level of pain. It's not too bad and at least I can take ibuprofen for it.  The rest of me has been feeling great, I am 4 wks off of all sugar and grains and am surprised to see the decrease in the need for ibuprofen.  Grateful.  I always worry about how much pain meds I take and how my liver processes it.  Over all things are going great just wanted to track these 'episodes'.
8:30 p.m. - pain switched to the other side with a bit of a vengeance. Probably a strong 4 to 5 for pain. 3 more Ibuprofen and no action so I may take a Tramadol before bed.  Hurts to move my left eye too far.  I put my finger back in like last January. Seems to help. I better try to get in to Dr. Brent tomorrow. I haven't had acupuncture for a long time. 

It's back.  It just came on with no reason.  Starts with this headache that runs from the bottom of my eye to infront of the top of my rt. ear.  At least it's on the side that makes more sense.  I hate it on the left as that's just ridiculous!  I'm not complaining here just logging. So later I can see if there is a pattern.  I did have a good long stretch with out pain.  It was lovely.  Felt like a normal person again.
7/15/10 - The pain isn't too bad, with 3 ibuprofen at a time it pretty much disappears til the med wears off. I did have a few very brief stabs in the sup. obliq. that's as crazy as it's gotten so far.  Just the head ache is lasting. I think this is day 3.  I'll go to the chiro. tonight. Maybe that will help.  Pressure infront of the ear makes it worse, sunglasses and crazy hairstylist with their thumbs as they wash your hair.  It used to feel great, now I dread it a little more. Interesting how my eyes dry out tremendously when the pain flares up.

"Oh Happy Day"

We had a slow start today but a great finish.

At the moment I'm writing this There are great thunderstorms all around us. The sky is golden yellow highlighting all the cumulus clouds. The sky is just glowing! and that's in the front yard. In the back yard is the most giant double rainbow I have ever seen.  It is just amazing!   I was just going to get on and blog about my second 3 D movie I went to this afternoon. It was good.  I think that's going to be my new 'hobby' going to see any 3D movie I can get my eyes on.
For most of the movie I was concerned that things were not coming out at me as they had when I saw Alice in Wonderland.  I did a lot of little eye experiments, you know, tilting my head this way and that, Closing one eye than the other, taking my glasses on and off.  I don't know that I learned much about my eyes except for at the end of the movie the credits proved I really could see 3D.  There was no mistaking it.  I always say I don't care about the story, I just want to see the 3D. But in this case the story was really cute.  I would recommend anyone grabbing the nearest 6 yr old and taking them to see Despicable Me.  What a cute story, and funny.  Oh, and no Pain.  


7/11/10 - Just thougt of something. Just to clarify, the double rainbow was real.  It wasn't cuz of strabismus.  HA HA

Ha Ha Ha

I got a laugh today at my boss' expense! We had our monthly one on one mtg with the boss today.  Tanya shows me my sales records and how I exceed my goals all the time.  So I showed her why I think that is.  I showed her going  back to eye surgery is when you can track this jump in my business. I went on a one minute explanation of how great my eyes are and how I walk around all the time so grateful for this gift.  I explained, I was really happy before surgery, I over came debilitating depression then the summer before surgery I lost all my weight I gained during that long period.  So I was happy as a lark, didn't need anything more, then I got this eye surgery.  So I really think that my sales have sored to new heights because I am so grateful and it rubs off on my clients.  Then she bursts into talking about some book, blah blah blah, and I asked her, I was confused, 'How did me talking about my eyes make you think about this book?'  And somehow she was thinking about her own eyes and how bad they are getting.  They are "fuzzy" and she's trying to not say in her head, her eyes 'are bad'.  She's trying to stay positive.  Anyway, Chalk one up for the grasshopper!  For once I have great eyes! Tanya and I both turn 37 this weekend.  I got 4 grey hairs, she gets glasses for her birthday.! Poor Tanya. HA!

I also got my hair colored today and my co worker was rinsing my hair and giving me a FIRM head massage.  I was scared when she dug right into where my nerve pain originates right by my ear.  It hurt but so far it didn't flare up.  I still feel it, but didn't want to tell her as what is done is done.  I actually didn't think of it till her thumb hit that spot.  Oh well, it'll be fine.

And then today...

After I wrote the last blog, I went into work to find a client on the books who hasn't been there for a while as she lives far away in Minnetonka. When she arrived she told me why she needed to come this day.  It was because she was anxious about her upcoming eye surgery and she just needed to see me as she knew I could relate.  That was possibly the sweetest thing she could have told me after what I just blogged earlier today.  See I'm not the only one that enjoys having someone to relate too. Hopefully some day she'll read this and add to this post in the comments section. She had her own eye miracles a few years back when a the Phillips Eye Institute helped heras she was legally blind and now you'd never know.

Can't sleep

I'm not the brightest bulb in the pack.  I washed my face before bed and noticed a milia  and not thinking I just took one of my needles ( esty's have these ya know) and stuck it into this milia, then tried another one. Got it out! Yeah! But I triggered the nerve.  So I'm laying there realizing I have to get up and distract myself from the pain.  Hopefully it will go away but if I lay there I just focus on it.  The moon was coming up and it's beautiful, and I don't see it in double so it gets me to  thinking about my little miracle eye surgery and came to a small conclusion that was kind of interesting to me.
The past few months I've had this frustration.  I think I may now  know what it is.  See I'm a bit tired of this blog, yet  I keep coming back to it and don't know why.  Well, laying there I was thinking how frustrating it is not to have anyone understand what it's like to have this big change.  This last eye surgery really caught me off guard. I am so amazed all the time and no one understands this good feeling.  Why do I need someone to understand?  I wish I was just a tad bit less grateful and  could actually take this for granted and forget about it.  Some people walk around negative and they can find the bad in anything. That is annoying. But walking around really grateful is kind of annoying too.  Only I can't share it with anyone.  Oh, I have tried. But you can see in their faces they just don't get it. Now with heart surgery there's a great big scar and you look really pathetic so people sympathize better. But with my eyes there's no visible scars.  How often though I remember what it was like before surgery.  I'm kinda mad at myself for not knowing that that was bad.  I didn't think it was that bad. Now I know how much better my vision is I don't know why I tolerated that for so long I could just kick myself for not going in earlier. Oh, well.
I think that's why I keep coming back to this dumb blog that no one reads but me,  I get to talk about what's in my head and I don't have to worry about if people understand or not. It helps me to understand.
When you have heart surgery or what ever, when you get with others who have had the same thing you click you understand you share your experiences.  I don't know of anyone who has had this experience.  I came close, with my workmates husband.  However, he is so embarrassed about his eye problem he doesn't want to speak about it to ANYONE!  What's up with that?  Why would you be embarrassed about your eye problems?  It's not your fault.  You didn't bring it on.  I don't get that.  I know there's social issues with strabismus etc. But really? You're embarrassed? Even with other people who have it?  The only person I can really connect with is Dr. C  I only see her only once every 6 wks for about 20 minutes while her hair is processing.  But she helps me a lot.  I don't have to explain myself to her. She gets it. She doesn't give me that look that says, "does not compute". I do feel guilty talking to her as I know if I was in her office I'd be paying for this consult. This last time I wasn't going to talk about my eyes at all, just went to say hello but then she immediately asks me about my face pain. I guess I was surprised she even remembered I had this pain. It caught me off guard.    I always ask her if she minds talking about this subject with me and she always reassures me she doesn't. She's very kind.
So that's what I think the frustration is about - I'm a talker and I can't talk about this.  Not even really with Jim. He's a good listener though. He tolerates me.  But I try to never tell him about the pain unless it's really bad as I don't want him to worry, and he would worry. It's like he wants to fix it but he can't so it just makes him irritated if I tell him something is wrong.  So I get to tell him the good parts but can't tell him the bad. Again,
that is why I have this silly blog.  I've said it all along, the blog is for me, so I have an outlet so I don't drive all my friends crazy talking about my little eye miracle countered with pain episodes. Can I say for the record again? It is a miracle.  I wish I could describe it.  I hope I don't loose it.
Alright I'm going back to bed to try to sleep, Lord knows I need my beauty rest. Just look at me! HA