It’s been 10 years this week since my “eye miracle”. I’ve been Re feeling all the gratitude I have for the second chance, new take, on my view of life.
I’m still so aware of what a gift this surgery was to me.
It’s fall here in central MN. The colors are beautiful. This just ads to the gratitude I feel.
Every Oct 20th I take a photo with my little bud, Elijah. I share my miracle day with his miracle day. The day he was born. It’s kind of a big deal to me, because I have no children, and my good friends invited me to be there to witness the birth of their first child. This was a big deal to me. I had never seen a live birth, and I probably never would have children on my own, But as life would have it, Elijah decided to stay inside his momma two more weeks. Of course , he decided to come on the exact day I had to have my surgery at Mayo. I stayed up all night in the hotel hallway, so as not to disturb my husband and mother sleeping. I was on the phone as my friend gave birth to Elijah. We had flip phones back then and I can still remember the photo I got on the phone, of Elijah with his big bright red lips. He still has these big beautiful lips today. I didn’t get to be there physically. But I was there completely in the hallway of that hotel.
I really didn’t sleep all night but I didn’t care. Michelle and her baby we’re fine. And I just had a good feeling that I was gonna have a good experience with this surgery. Mind you though I was nervous at the same time.
I remember in the operating room every detail. My favoirite was dr Holmes response when I asked if he was having a good day. “ I’m having a GREAT day!” What a great response. And he was excited. This means a lot. Because he’s English. The English are not an excitable people in whole, but Dr Holmes... he never misspeaks.
And for some reason I remember the math equation he had written on the white board. It was a massive trig equation. I am allergic to math... so this stood out to me that it meant anything meaningful to anyone... I remember thinking..I should have paid better Attn to math. If I did, maybe I could have been a genius eye surgeon. :)
Anyway, the next day...I walked into Ginny’s little exam room and proclaimed “ Ginny! I have no head tilt!”
To this day, I tell people , “with one three hour nap, my head tilt was fixed. “ that my friend was a pretty good day! Let me tell you
The next two weeks were marked by falling into walls, falling down stairs, discovering what 3-D was. My first day back to work at the spa... I never knew I didn’t have depth perception. My first day back was premature, I came into the spa to take care of an acne sufferer, her mom begged me to come in early from my recovery. I will never forget the first realization of “we’re not in Kansas anymore” this zit! I had to put a needle into the center of this volcano of a zit and through my magnifier I watched in 3-D Mount Vesuvius of a zit come AT ME! I wanted to vomit! But there girls mom was sitting there watching me, so I professionally couldn’t react. But inside, I was like HOLY CRAP! What the H E Double hockey sticks is going on here!?
Add that to literally, walking like a drunk everywhere I went....
I came back to dr Holmes and asked “ What is going on!? I’m falling everywhere.” He said, “it’s like I put a really strong prescription glasses on you and you can’t take them off”
A week later I walk into Ginny’s little room again ( Ginny was one of his orthoptist at the time) I was there for eye pain. I wasn’t used to the eye pain after surgery. But no matter what, they put this book in front of me, full of children’s pictures, and you have to put on woody Allen glasses... I remember thinking , why must I look at these pictures when I am here for pain!? I never see anything in there anyway! But I played along and did what I was told. Ginny opened the book and low and behold...it was FULL of pictures! Full! I burst into tears and said “ we’re these here the whole time?”
I cried for a while. Because I realized, no one ever told me I was supposed to see anything. They didn’t want me to feel bad I guess. But it was a great moment discovering the miracle I was just handed. It was amazing. This is why I blogged. I never imagined life in general would look differently. All different ! It was amazing. I remember seeing an oil spill in the parking lot where I work and it was iridescent. I had never seen that before. Only I would be amazed by an oil slick.
I could go on... but at this time, my eye pain is much more controlled. I have a cowboy primary care provider that figured out to treat my trochlea pain like a tendonitis. He uses prolotherapy on it. He’s been a life saver. So now eye pain doesn’t control my every moment. He also found a new neurologist for me and he figured out how to manage the daily migraines I had following eye surgery. So ..my eye is manageable overall now. We have a way of living with it. When I get bad again I just go to my cowboy primary and he gives me prolotherapy injections in the orbit.
I did get to see a live birth three years later when Michelle gave birth to her second baby Desmond. He is my child for life now.
I’m still grateful beyond grateful. I only think about how grateful I am when I’m looking out my eyes. But even then, I have dreams about my eyes... so even in my sleep I’m grateful.
Feeling truly grateful even 10 years later.
I’m still so aware of what a gift this surgery was to me.
It’s fall here in central MN. The colors are beautiful. This just ads to the gratitude I feel.
Every Oct 20th I take a photo with my little bud, Elijah. I share my miracle day with his miracle day. The day he was born. It’s kind of a big deal to me, because I have no children, and my good friends invited me to be there to witness the birth of their first child. This was a big deal to me. I had never seen a live birth, and I probably never would have children on my own, But as life would have it, Elijah decided to stay inside his momma two more weeks. Of course , he decided to come on the exact day I had to have my surgery at Mayo. I stayed up all night in the hotel hallway, so as not to disturb my husband and mother sleeping. I was on the phone as my friend gave birth to Elijah. We had flip phones back then and I can still remember the photo I got on the phone, of Elijah with his big bright red lips. He still has these big beautiful lips today. I didn’t get to be there physically. But I was there completely in the hallway of that hotel.
I really didn’t sleep all night but I didn’t care. Michelle and her baby we’re fine. And I just had a good feeling that I was gonna have a good experience with this surgery. Mind you though I was nervous at the same time.
I remember in the operating room every detail. My favoirite was dr Holmes response when I asked if he was having a good day. “ I’m having a GREAT day!” What a great response. And he was excited. This means a lot. Because he’s English. The English are not an excitable people in whole, but Dr Holmes... he never misspeaks.
And for some reason I remember the math equation he had written on the white board. It was a massive trig equation. I am allergic to math... so this stood out to me that it meant anything meaningful to anyone... I remember thinking..I should have paid better Attn to math. If I did, maybe I could have been a genius eye surgeon. :)
Anyway, the next day...I walked into Ginny’s little exam room and proclaimed “ Ginny! I have no head tilt!”
To this day, I tell people , “with one three hour nap, my head tilt was fixed. “ that my friend was a pretty good day! Let me tell you
The next two weeks were marked by falling into walls, falling down stairs, discovering what 3-D was. My first day back to work at the spa... I never knew I didn’t have depth perception. My first day back was premature, I came into the spa to take care of an acne sufferer, her mom begged me to come in early from my recovery. I will never forget the first realization of “we’re not in Kansas anymore” this zit! I had to put a needle into the center of this volcano of a zit and through my magnifier I watched in 3-D Mount Vesuvius of a zit come AT ME! I wanted to vomit! But there girls mom was sitting there watching me, so I professionally couldn’t react. But inside, I was like HOLY CRAP! What the H E Double hockey sticks is going on here!?
Add that to literally, walking like a drunk everywhere I went....
I came back to dr Holmes and asked “ What is going on!? I’m falling everywhere.” He said, “it’s like I put a really strong prescription glasses on you and you can’t take them off”
A week later I walk into Ginny’s little room again ( Ginny was one of his orthoptist at the time) I was there for eye pain. I wasn’t used to the eye pain after surgery. But no matter what, they put this book in front of me, full of children’s pictures, and you have to put on woody Allen glasses... I remember thinking , why must I look at these pictures when I am here for pain!? I never see anything in there anyway! But I played along and did what I was told. Ginny opened the book and low and behold...it was FULL of pictures! Full! I burst into tears and said “ we’re these here the whole time?”
I cried for a while. Because I realized, no one ever told me I was supposed to see anything. They didn’t want me to feel bad I guess. But it was a great moment discovering the miracle I was just handed. It was amazing. This is why I blogged. I never imagined life in general would look differently. All different ! It was amazing. I remember seeing an oil spill in the parking lot where I work and it was iridescent. I had never seen that before. Only I would be amazed by an oil slick.
I could go on... but at this time, my eye pain is much more controlled. I have a cowboy primary care provider that figured out to treat my trochlea pain like a tendonitis. He uses prolotherapy on it. He’s been a life saver. So now eye pain doesn’t control my every moment. He also found a new neurologist for me and he figured out how to manage the daily migraines I had following eye surgery. So ..my eye is manageable overall now. We have a way of living with it. When I get bad again I just go to my cowboy primary and he gives me prolotherapy injections in the orbit.
I did get to see a live birth three years later when Michelle gave birth to her second baby Desmond. He is my child for life now.
I’m still grateful beyond grateful. I only think about how grateful I am when I’m looking out my eyes. But even then, I have dreams about my eyes... so even in my sleep I’m grateful.
Feeling truly grateful even 10 years later.
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| Elijah age 10 , 10-20-19 |
