Weighing the options

I've had 3 different pain episodes the past 2.5 days- one good one during the night.  I don't care for it.  Is it terrible? No, not compared to say my back injury last Jan. Or open heart surgery when I awoke to find that my body doesn't recognize morphine as a pain killer -  that was pain!

I did go to Dr. Brent Friday, he put about 8 needles in and around the orbital area.  The one in my corrugator really hurt! I felt achy for about an hour then I felt real good. But then this morning while in my volunteer work it returned. All I had access too was Tylenol.  It may have worked or maybe it just left.  It does that sometimes.

Now I just have the jabs back. 

Here's the deal. It's not that the pain is so terrible all the time that I can't handle it.  But when it does come it is rather bad and I'm afraid of the pain coming back. So when I feel the jabs I wonder, "is it going to hit big time again?" 

So somehow I have to figure out again how to accept my new base line.  Before I had neck pain almost all the time, plus an embarrassing head tilt.  Now I have this pain.  I think I could roll with it better if I knew what was causing it.  I am a little tired of my entire being, being idiopathic.  I have to figure out how to accept something I don't understand. ? I'm not good at that.  I always want to understand everything when it involves my body.  If I don't understand you, well, I'm okay with that.  Not so with me.

I could go down to Mayo and try to get some answers but if I go to the Pain clinic like the Dr. thought, I'm afraid of what that might bring. Drugs - well, I never seem to respond to meds like 'normal' people.  You know all those rare side effects that people get.  Somebody does get those!  That would be me.  Like when the heart surgeon says, "no body is allergic to Tungsten Steel"  well, guess I'm nobody. My favorite side effect was to Dilaudid. " unusual feeling of euphoria" Now what is wrong with that?  I loved that. but knew it was not good.  I did feel awesome on that. 

Neurontin- see these are the type of drugs they may suggest.  I didn't tell Dr. H. all what happened with Neurontin. But it was bad. very bad. So I'm afraid.  I would take stabbing pain over neurontin any day. 

If I just understood what was going on I could roll with it.  I just can't figure it out. Frankly, can I say, I'm afraid of  having a problem with the trigeminal nerve.  I don't want that. AT ALL!  I could never with stand true trigeminal neuralgia. I can't get that. I just can't. So maybe if it continues I should at least figure out why so I could move on and live with it if I have to.  I'm scared that this was all just too good to be true. 

Would I have done the surgery knowing the possibility of all this pain.  Yes, of course. I just always forget there's a trade off.  I have this other Dr. who wants to do a basic foot surgery on me.  He doesn't understand why I don't just get the surgery done.  Well, this is exactly why.  I never go quite as scheduled.  I'm afraid I will be allergic to titanium. Or I won't be able to take the pain meds cuz I'm allergic to them.  To me there really isn't elective surgery. I have surgery when I absolutely need to.

Jabs

It is now Thursday early evening.  Since Monday after seeing Brent I haven't had the constant jabs in my sup. obliq muscle.  Ahhh.  Makes me happy.  Tonight is the first time I'm having  a little trouble - no real pain, kind of a dull head ache and it is too hard to read, (I'm trying to read 4 chapters out of my bible - not going to happen today)or look up at my silly TV.  The TV in my office lives on a top shelf near the ceiling and my eye is just too weak to look up at it tonight.  But - no jabs!  God bless Dr. Brent.  Makes me want to go back and do that again.
5/14/10 - well, I spoke too soon. Last night headache turned into the real deal. Bummer!  I took a tramadol - pain went away but I know I shouldn't take it.  I really think I'm allergic to it.  I'll try to get into Brent today. I did have a solid four days of no jabs or strong pain.

Check out this video of my buddy Lane. He is such a tease!  This was last Sunday.

Relief by Brent

 Dr. Brent did acupuncture to my face today to help my eye pain/ ache. He also adjusted my occipital bone.  He had some good ideas. The acupuncture was good.  I could tell it did something to my facial muscles. His goal was to relieve muscle tension around anything connected to the trigeminal nerve incase that's the real problem.  But most of the relief came from realizing I can bounce ideas off of Brent and try to figure out with him what my body might be doing.  Since my neck is so much better I don't see the chiropractor as often.  I forgot he is a great asset to me when I get in my little health crisis'. I learn a lot from him.   He too has been dealing with my idiopathicness for many years now.  I feel a great relief to remember I don't have to figure this out by myself.
5/11/10 - it's been just short of 24 hours since I went to Brent.  Guess what? This is the longest I've gone without even Jabs of pain!  Cross your fingers!  Will it last? Who knows. But I do know the rt eye is very sore when I put my eye shadow on or touch it with anything smaller than my elbow.  All I know, is that when not in pain, I am nothing but very happy and content.  The pain will go away for good at some point.  Then WATCH OUT world!
5/12/10 Still not having the same Jabs.  I do feel an occasional 'surge' of pain then it goes away.( probably 3 times an hour.) Still hurts to put makeup on that eye. I'm hopeful.

Photos

It was a big weekend at the Weisman household. My girl Donnee graduated from college this weekend. Lots of fun and a little sad that she'll be leaving us. I have to tell you that for the first time I don't dread having my photo taken as I don't have to tilt. I even have moments with no pain.  No intense pain since last Tuesday. I have the jabs and the ache often but we can deal with  that. Now I better go to bed before my eye yells at me.