strong left side pain today.  Then it switched back to it's usual right side. Probably a 6 today. In jaw and infra-orbital nerve area.
10:33p.m. I had to take a tramadol and benedryl.  Pain is quite acute in my right eye.  but it's more a general area like the entire orbital area.  all around the eye it feels as if I got punched really hard.  It doesn't radiate too far just to the top of the ear like it always does.
Hope not to stay awake itchin to high heaven.  Oh well.  Tramadol feels good , besides the intense itching part. Like a big ol' glass of wine.
Sunday: Rt eye pain was bad today. I had to go lay down in the library at the Kingdom Hall today.  I took two ex. st. tylenol - no affect on it.  The eye was not wanting to function.  just want to close it. feels good to just shut it and lay down.  I don't sleep, just need to stop using it.
Tues.  8 p.m.  This morning was bad on rt side - I just realize I can't keep doing this.  I have too much to do, I can't wait til January like I wanted to, to go have Mayo look into it.  Very frustrated.  On a happy note.  I loaded up with pain relievers and did lashes and they went the best yet.  Duck to water!  Today, check with me tomorrow, might be a brick to water. :)
Wed. Nov. 3rd - today was happily uneventful in the pain department.  I took a dilaudid last night before bed as my eye was a low 3 on pain scale.  I was hoping to knock it out. But it kept waking me up with pain and itching inspite of the benedryl.  I had my normal eye feelings today but wouldn't say it was pain. Who knows?

Nicest compliment....

So today at work I had an older client in.  She comes in for a facial every 4 to 6 months, hard working farm wife, maybe 70 yrs old.  I don't remember exactly what we were talking about when she was telling me that she always notices peoples eyes.  Well of course this got my attention.  Shortly before this, she was sitting on my table and I was sitting on my little stool, she was higher than I was and that is my weakest eye position. So I raised my stool to be higher to talk to her.
When she made this comment on how she notices eyes. I couldn't help but ask, "what do you notice about my eyes" fearing she would say, well your right eye is elevated.  Instead she said, " you have tender eyes'  Wasn't that sweet?  It sounded like she said tenderize.  Ha ha.  Then she added you could tell I was kind by my eyes.
Well, I just about started crying but that would just validate her comment and we can't have that!  But I was glad she didn't point out my asymmetry.

Yesterday I concluded my eyes work just fine for doing this detailed eye lash work. I am so pleased. Then  today, I learned I have a healthy fear of performing eye lash extensions.  UGH.  What did I get myself into?  This girl I did today, her eyes kept twitching and twitching then she couldn't keep her eyes shut.  And there were like 3 hairs growing out of each follicle. Making it nearly impossible to isolate one single lash.  The worse part, it is very easy to get the tiniest bit of this super glue on the bottom lashes, GLUING THEM TOGETHER!  Top to bottom.  Okay this is not dangerous - not good, but no danger.  The danger comes when you go to separate the top from the bottom.  The things I had to do to separate this few lashes.  I'm not proud of.  This happen to two of my "test" people. Their fine.  I know from my own eye procedures what the dr.s do to say, cut stitches and that's how close I was to their open eyes trying to free there lids from each other.  I don't know what I got myself into. I"m going to call the trainer, I need a pep talk.

My amazing new eye functions

Okay, I have no time to write, I have way too much to do but am just ecstatic at my eyes today.  I did eye lash extensions for about 5 hours today.  I gotta say,  I nailed it!  My eyes were just amazing!  They were doing really hard things, the best part is, THEY DID IT!  Tiny little lashes, then looking through a diopter.  I tried reading glasses, nope didn't like those,  tried my Opti visor - it was okay, made me dizzy a bit,  but the plain old diopter, that's my favorite.  That's the way to go.
It's just so delicate a job. And I did it.  I'm about 75% better at it then when I started.  I'm so excited.  I really hated doing lashes at first. Now I can see it's kind of addictive.  I can't wait til I'm good at this.  I'm just so happy  with my eyes today.  I guess I appreciated how good I was doing when the younger girls I was teaching were doing things much worse than I.  Like poking the client in the nose.  Ha Ha. It's not fair to them though I'm used to working through a diopter.  That's a battle in itself I guess.
I'm just so pleased with the function of my eyes today.  Grinning from ear to ear.

Tramadol

I took one 50 mg tramadol before bed as my back and eye hurt last night.  Should have taken a benedryl right away with it.  I itched so bad it was reeeeeediculous! I finally took a benedryl at 1:15 a.m.  so I could itch less.
How can you itch like that way inside your ear?  Just thinking about it reactivates the itch.  Like there are a million fire ants in your bed.  But, no pain.  Again, back to the theory, life is a trade off.

Figuring out a pattern

I have been feeling so great. And then wham o.  I love the part where I am always surprised when it comes back.
Baseball bat to the head.  I woke up with this mild pain, 1.5 hours later it's full blown to the point I want to log it.  I called the chiro. but he's not in and wont' be til later when I'm working of course. And i have to teach that idiotic eye lash extension stuff to two co workers today. It takes all I have when I feel good. That should be fun.  And it's Friday so no chiro til Monday maybe.
Last Wed. nite right before bed the vein thing happened again while I was talking to my ma on the phone.  I'm getting used to it so I told my mom, if I drop the phone and you hear nothing just call 911.
I just love this body I've been given.  Wonder if I can return it. -  J/k. I'll go drug up and see if that will knock it out.  It's going to be one of 'those' days.  I have a full book today and ready to be my best, then, bat to the head. But then, it could magically go away, it does that too at times.
11:15p.m. -  pain was intermittent today not bad until the OTC pain meds wear off then just have to reload.  I did have a martini tonight and that does get rid of the nerve pain for a good 1.5 hrs.  Very very tired tonight, can't help but nurse the tilt.
Sunday Oct. 24th. - much of the day yesterday my sup. Obliq ached to really hurt.  During the night it was quite bad. I took 3 ibup. about 3:45a.m.  I think it helped take the edge off of it. I'm quite frustrated.  It was pretty intense. I always feel like I have this pain monkey on my back. I have to look back and see exactly when I've had these.  Trying to figure out a pattern.

One year

"a few of my favorite things"

Today is my one year anniversary of my last eye surgery. It also marks one year since our little Elijah was born.  I know this post says I wrote it at 8 a.m. and I did. But I am editing it at 9:25 p.m. after spending a bit of the evening at Elijah's house with him and his parents and some other friends.  The photo you'll see Elijah on my lap and my favorite 3 year old by my side with his loyal dog.
I was a little emotional today and actually kept my thoughts to myself about my eye surgery anniversary.  I was around a variety of people but just told them it was my one year anniversary. I didn't tell them how I feel about it.
Last night I had trouble sleeping at first because I was thinking so much of all the ways this surgery has benefited me.  It wasn't til I spoke to my Nancy, who is now in hospice that I actually cried  little out of shear joy. And she is the only one I really explained how wonderful this whole year has been.  I feel blessed to have had this unexpected joy and success.
 I know a lot of people with Strabismus are afraid of surgery. I understand. I was terrified. But I'm glad I overcame my fear and had one more surgery. I just want to say don't give up.  Don't loose hope that maybe some one can fix your eyes, even if someone tells you theres no hope.  There's always hope as long as your alive.  I lost my hope for 10 years without even realizing it.  I can't believe I lived like that for so long. It's just been a great year.  Well, at least the most interesting year of my life. That's for sure. Today is a good day.  All around.

This blog's audience

Interestingly, I usually get on average about 13 hits a day on this blog from all over the globe.  Today. 87.
Brazil had 18
Canada 18
South Africa 17
USA -28
Australia
S.Korea
Lebanon
Uk
ETC

Why so many all of the sudden?  I worry my post labeled "Evil Plan" is getting the wrong kind of attention! HA - it's not real evil people. Just talking about eyes here. Just a figure of speech!  Lighten up. :)  Bhaahahaa

New things I'm learning

Well, today I did a rather scary thing after 4, or technically, 5 eye surgeries for strabismus, and 3 adjustable suturing's.  I went and got training on doing something for my job, called 'eye lash extensions'. It's very tedious work, VERY!  Frankly, I have no interest in longer lashes for myself, but the rest of the world doesn't feel this way.  It's all the rage in vanity land.  I was worried about if I could 'eye' up these little lashes and then be able to slide them on to someone real lashes.  Only after you drug it through black super glue and have isolated one lash at a time.  Then you coat the isolated lash with the super glue and then attach the false lash.
Plus you really do well to where an opti visor.  Which is so attractive, I might add.  I'll post a photo. It's pretty funny.  I was worried about depth perception because I already have some trouble with tweezing at work. I always think the hair is closer to me. It is a little tricky but I think it went pretty good. With minimal swearing :)
My rt eye does ache right now but that could be from my nerve issue,  I got a few good stabs even before we started so I don't know if the aches I feel are from looking down thru a diopter or just my normal pains.
Anyway, it was fun to try something new.

My evil plan

So I go back for my one year check up Nov. 17th. I panicked about this most of September as  my eyes were really bad! Tilting and double vision.  Turns out it was not that big of a deal as I was treating my back with muscle relaxers. And crazy thing, it was relaxing all my muscles, including my 11 eye muscles. ( Yes, I said 11)
  However, for some unknown reason I do dread going to the eye dr. even though he has been nothing but perfectly nice and tolerant of me, my emails, my stupid humor and silly gifts.  I just hate going to the eye dr. I'd rather go to the dentist or worse, the Gyno!  I hate the camera that takes my photos.  I feel like a freak a zoid in my Mosby's medical dictionary. Only your eyes don't get blocked out to protect your identity.  I keep telling myself it's not a big deal. And I do feel better about it now that I know that muscle relaxers were to blame.
The local eye dr. who referred me to Mayo comes into my place of work.  Lately She's been each week for 3 weeks.  She is so nice to everyone and so congenial to me and always asks questions, very specific questions about my eyes and my facial pain.  I'm trying to convince her to come with me to Mayo. I know there is about 33% of her that really would love to go and meet Holmes.  I know her enough to know this. ( esp. after she told me Ginny no longer works there.  I'm bummed Ginny and Sarah won't be there.)  If she comes, she and Holmes can get in a Juicy conversation and they'll forget I'm there and I can slip out. They won't even notice. That's my plan anyway. :)

10/16/10 - Saturday evening -  I was laying down for a bit this afternoon and thinking. -  Thinking I am grateful today.  No eye/ face pain to day.  Life is much nicer with no face pains. Now if I could just get my back to cooperate.  Hmmmmm....

Oh! Muscle Relaxers!

Sometimes, I am , an idiot.
So my back is doing better.  It was sort of sore last night, so I thought hmm, I should take my muscle relaxer before bed.  Then I realized I hadn't taken it for a few days.  The short of the long...
I had taken about 26 muscle relaxers since I threw my back out earlier in Sept. The last few days I have been in eye pain but my tilt is better.  I think the muscle relaxers were the problem.  I was feeling so tired and tilting and seeing more double.  I was scared.  Now the last few days I'm coming around.  DAH!  It's because I haven't take that darn muscle relaxer.  Sometimes I'd like to kick myself.
Anyway, GREAT RELIEF! I was so scared it was relaxing back to broken.  No, it was just relaxing due to muscle RELAXERS!  Greta! Really? Took you a whole month to figure this one out?   tisk tisk tisk.

Oct. 15th  - after a long day at work...now what do I do for my back pain? I was on the muscle relaxers because they worked.  back to gin therapy.  That's not good for ya either. but at least the head tilt only lasts like 2 hours.

Things I can do..

I can lay on the couch and watch tv with both eyes open.  This is good people.  I've always wanted to do this.  I figured out I just have to lay on my back and turn my head to the right.  I love it.
And yes, the pain is gone right now. Wooo Whooo

Dah! Acupuncture!

Today is a level 7 on the pain scale. Just feels like a bat to the upper cheek bone moving over to the top of the ear.  Didn't pay much attention to it,  thought it would go away. But no.  The Excedrin should work soon.
After yesterday's conversation with Jim, he thinks I just need to stop eating all Gluten, and that will fix it.  Ugh. - it's frustrating.
5:45p.m. - pain is better with meds, then comes back when meds wear off. No biggy. Ironically, I don't feel like I'm tilting all that much!  My eye is very dry today.  I give up.  I have two words - eye ectomy
10/11/10 IT's a lovely sunny, Monday. this pain is pretty bad today.  was during the night too. tylenol didn't touch it.  I've already taken 3 ibuprofen 3 hours ago - no relief.  It's like a very focused migraine  - focused right now in my rt temple.  I feel like the vein is swollen but it doesn't appear to be.  my eye is a desert and I just need to close it.  I had to go in for one client this morning and apparently you can see the pain on my face inspite of my words. As my co workers picked up on it asap. UGH.
I was going to go in my volunteer work to distract myself but who are we kidding.  I'll tell you if $$ wasn't the issue I would go to Mayo and see if someone could figure it out. My luck they'd be like other dr.'s and shrug and say they don't know either.
6p.m. I'm such an idiot!  I laid down for one hour and slept.  When I woke, it dawned on me! Dah, go to Dr. Brent for acupuncture.  So I did and I had the afternoon off from pain.  I have little twinges of pain. but better.
Why didn't I think of that sooner!

My beautiful head tilt...

At work today I kind of figured out why I've been off cloud 9 for the past 6-8 weeks.
I just feel like the fun is gone from my eye surgery.  I miss those days I was floating on this cloud of joy.  It wasn't realistic to stay up there. I knew I wouldn't.  That's part of the reason I started this blog/Log.  So I could go back and read those days when I was acutely aware of the gift I had been given.

My head has been so tilted since my last major pain attack Sept. 6th. I feel like maybe 75% of the time. Which if "Pollyanna" were here she'd say, "Well at least it's not 100%"  then I'd punch her! Ha!  I thought I was just tired, I had a cold, etc.  Now I wonder is this a phase or a development. This makes me quite concerned. I seem to be always trying to correct my tilting. However, my neck doesn't' hurt too bad, once in a while it does, then again, I take a lot of pain meds.

  Today, I was doing a facial on a person,  mind you it's very relaxing work. I was staring off while I massaged her arms.  Well, I realize at one small point I am really tilting!  So I straighten up.  I literally at times can count, One one thousand Two, before my eyes adjust. So they'll go double than comeback to single. But you can watch it in Slow Mo. This happens a lot in the morning when I am tired.
I was with my whole family a couple weeks ago for 3 days, after one day I thought to ask my mom, "am I tilting?" She said " she saw it but didn't want to tell me."  Lovely, and my mom doesn't mind telling me a bit when she hates my hair or I need to put some lipstick on.  But this? She doesn't want to tell me.

Anyway, I've been feeling this for a while.  I just finally found a way to put it into words.

4 hours later...
I ended up telling Jim about this going on.  Didn't go well.  Memo to self.  Keep it to yourself, oh, and your blog.

It doesn't matter...

I awoke about 12:40 a.m. just wide awake and my mind for some reason just started in again on Egghead.  Just like back in November or December when I first awoke at about this same time of night all the sudden very much aware and very livid at my former eye Dr. Why? So,  I had to get up.  Read my bible.  I'm on 1 Chronicles 1-4.  Try and read that.  That will put anyone to sleep.  It's all lineage.

I suppose it's because the thought crossed my mind when I saw my local eye dr. is on the books to get her hair done right before she goes to this big conference for eye Dr.'s.  Then I remembered, oh yeah, that's right.  Holmes may speak to egghead this month.  That's all it takes.  I have still racing questions.  But I have to keep telling myself. It doesn't matter.  It's over, it's the past.  I can't let my brain get carried away with all of these questions!  They are pointless! What's done is done Greta, move on.

Which I had been doing. Totally forgot, or so I thought. ( hey that rhymes!)  But I am still intrigued as to how the mention of Egbert triggers this involuntary emotional response.  I hate it!  It was so long ago.  How do I even know I remember it correctly? Doesn't' matter. See, these are the questions that start.  Then one leads to the next and to the next.  I just have to keep repeating to myself it doesn't matter, It doesn't' matter, it doesn't matter....

Doing Better

Today was pretty great. The weather was so beautiful with all the fall colors.  I got to go in my volunteer work. I got one new cleaning job and delivered another bid and had a second meeting with a potential client.  So that was good.   I went to the Chiropractor and he helped my eye.  5 different needles in the exact spots I have trouble with.  He even asked to bring in his fellow Dr. to show him what he did - kinda strange. It's experiences like these that contribute to the 'freak of nature' line of thinking.   But he said it's not every day someone will let him put needles that close to their eye.
My heart was fine today.  I feel rested.  I didn't feel like I was tilting but a photo was taken and, yep, still tilting.  Oh well, my neck doesn't hurt like it used to.

"I have a dream!"

Mr. Martin Luther isn't the only one who has a dream.
I'm having real trouble with my eye and head tilt this week.  Problem is I can't describe what is exactly going on. You know what? Sometimes, I don't have a clue what is going on.
I've been sick with a basic cold this week.  Plus my back is still hurting from dislocating this dumb joint in my pelvis.   I did that a good while ago.
I'm so very tired but then today as I sat at the Kingdom Hall eye was struggling and my heart was so goofy.  The rhythm was all over the place.  I asked my friend for her watch and timed it. It was 60 bpm then I felt it change it jumped to 82 p.b.m. I felt almost sick and that I needed to sleep. Yet I felt out of breath.  So I took the car, leaving Jimbo to find his own way home.  I slept for 45 min.  And felt better.  Then off to clean a business.

Since I had that scary episode with my veins popping out of my head all week, I've had renewed interest in what in the h e double hockey sticks is wrong with me.

"Beaker" 

I really wanted to go get help back when I had that killer headache where I really thought I was going to stroke. But I couldn't. Two times that week I really thought I may die. A person should go to the hospital when they really think they're going to die.  Not me.  I know how it goes.  They do all these tests and nothing shows up typical so they send you home with a huge bill and no more answers than when you went in.  Once they kept me for 3 nights and just let me go.  You shoulda heard what I told the Cardiologist I had at the time.  Ha!  I affectionately refer to him to this day as "beaker" He looked just like "beaker" from the  Muppets.  I laugh as I write this remembering how I grilled him about his knowledge of anti inflammatories and how they work.  You had to be there, but I was in a bad, bad mood being locked in for 3 days as they ran every crazy test on me.    Ha ha ha.  I was livid.  But just because you're called a "Doctor" doesn't mean that all Dr.'s are genius'.  This guy was an idiot.  I mean he had to know he sounded like an idiot.  I had distant friends visiting that day when "beaker" came in to discharge me.  They could vouch for what a geek he was. Unfortunately, that was one of the main experiences that make me never want to go to the hospital again.  Earlier this was the same Dr. who told me my aorta was rupturing when all it was, was a scar from the bypass machine.  BIG MISTAKE!

My dream is that I could walk into Mayo. Some department could look over everything, understand exactly what's happening and know exactly what the deali-o is and tell me how to live my life and when to be truly concerned.  I wish there was a place I could go or someone I could call that would know what is going on and not over react and scare me with talk of aortic rupture, lupus, lymphoma, etc.  (These are things I've heard before).  And how is it that you can go to med school for umpteen years and not know  one thing about connective tissue?  Huh??? If I had a nickle for every cock eyed look when I said Marfans, or Ehlers Danlos. I'd have many nickles!
Anyway, I have a dream.   :)

It's back

Just logging here.
Rt. side eye pain came back tonight during a meeting.(thurs nite) First started in the jaw then mostly planted in my sup. obliq. like stabbing little jabs like there is a stick pin in my sup. obliq.  For about 20 min on and off intensely. I had trouble looking up while talking to people.  It aches all around the eye in the normal trail. Infra orbital nerve, then it branches up to the Trochlea but most of the strong pain is from the top of the ear ( I don't know how to spell superior auericularus)  to the infra orbital nerve ( where it comes out anyway)  I have to look back to see when the last time I had an episode.
I think it was the week after the Brandi Carlile concert Aug 29th to Sept. 6th.
I gotta say, everytime it goes away I totally believe "there, I am done forever with that"  then, it always totally surprises me when it returns.  I don' think I'll every get used to it.  I don't think you should get used to it. It's wrong :)
Oct. 2nd ( sat. night). The right eye is smarting. I don't think I could explain how it feels.  It kind of stings, aches, basically, it feels like I just had surgery. It hurts deep in the inside corner and across the top.
Oct 6th - not too bad, this one,  Just an on going ache in that eye area.  Only the sharp attack that one night at the meeting.