Okay, so I worked all day doing nothing but facials. Facials are great to receive and give but by facial number 3 the technician starts getting bored. And a little more daring, I might add, as I want SOMETHING interesting to happen. Anyway, I had, what I term an Oprah moment, or an Aha, moment, visiting with a first time client. Client number 2. Sweet thing! So we're talking about whether it is a blessing or a curse to be in tune with your body/mind etc and how it is affected by even little things. So I say to her. "I've had this sore throat for two weeks." (Cuz I have) She right away says, 'oh, that means your having trouble voicing something or communicating something." Well, whatever, and it's hard to explain but I have learned there is something to these theories - sometimes. But right away my mind goes back to when I recently found this letter from egghead to Dr. Lucius. I think I blogged about it before. It was about two weeks ago I found that letter. And it has bothered me ever since. So much I didn't want it in the house anymore but didn't think I should chuck it as maybe there is something relevant to it. Just wish I had found it before surgery. So I got rid of it by mailing it to Dr. Holmes. That guy must think I'm a freak. Oh well, maybe I am. But you would be too if you were. :)
I am just for some reason upset by anything 'egghead'.
I don't remember all the details from that long ago. When I read the letter - well, here I was 25 not 26 like I thought. Well, if I goofed up my memory of my age, what else did I goof up? I feel like blaming myself all over again and for what? I just know something wasn't right back there but I can't put my finger on it. I really would like someone to explain to me what they think, because at the moment I honestly don't know what to think. I'm not trusting my memory of it. I wish Dr. Holmes could tell me his summary of what he thinks from his perspective, how should it have been handled? Did 'egbert' do all the right things and I just didn't understand. I'm sure that I would not have wanted to go back for rechecks with him but why didn't he explain why I needed to go back for rechecks? It's like I need validation again. I already got that back when Dr. Holmes said he'd speak with Egbert. How much more validation could you need?
Anyway, after that client stated this communication problem theory. I kinda think she's right. So writing is good for me to sort out all of this stuff.
All I know about the past for sure is how I feel about it. For some reason it makes me feel really bad. Kind of sick and nauseous. Like I can't eat. I don't remember what was all said and done, but I do remember how I felt and how I feel now about it.
Wish someone could explain it to me. 'Cuz I don't understand why I feel the way I do. I'm fixed why does this still bug me?
04/24/10 - My sore throat is gone now. Funny it's only after my Dr. Appointment. Who knows?
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