Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I was THIS close..

to calling Dr. H again today.  I have a question I need to ask him.  It's bugging me.  I of course can wait til my 1 yr appointment but It's going to bug me every day until then.  I saw double again this morning - no real pain. but this is the 3rd time.  I knew I was within my viewing parameters. I really don't want to see double anymore.
When something negative happens with my eyes I feel like I can't tell anyone, I was out in my volunteer work with two of my best friends and couldn't tell them but esp don't want to tell Jim because I don't want him to worry. So I ended up telling the post grad student that is staying here with us.  I felt much better after I explained my worries to someone.  Saved Dr. H. from another phone call from crazy old me.
My question is something to the effect of how do I know this surgery is different than all the others?  Why didn't the other surgeries work?  What are my chances of loosing it again?
Then I tell myself. I was happy before with double vision.  I could do it again and be happy if I had too.  The difference is now I know double vision is wrong.  And now I know what good is.  It would be just cruel to go back to that again.  Now I understand, ignorance is bliss! 
I wasn't in too bad a pain today.  I was loaded up with tylenol and Ibup. but I went to so see this big time makeup artist.  He attacked my eye!  So it is sore now.  It definitely doesn't like  makeup brushes esp. with crazy men at the other end of them.  The real kicker is he did my least favorite move. He grabbed my face with two hands and straightened my head.  UGH.  I hate that -  means I was tilted a little. OH well,  I just pray that my eyes don't slip back to double.

No comments: