Wednesday, March 10, 2010

What more could I ask for?

It's almost 5 months now since surgery.  I'm still so acutely aware of how great this eye surgery thing has been for me.   I've learned a lot!  My biggest lesson is that I can trust again.
I was happy before surgery.  You  have to understand I had severe major depressive disorder the 3.5 years following heart surgery. Every minute of every hour I wanted to die.  That was the worst thing I had ever been through. Then just as quickly as it settled in, after stopping certain meds, it left me.  Even though I was now 40 lbs heavier I didn't care. I wasn't depressed anymore.  What more could I ask for?
Then, I lost 18 lbs after quiting the medications. So that was great!
But then this past summer, I lost 26 lbs more.   NOW I WAS BACK!  I'm back, the old me is here. What more could I want?
Happy as I was, I went to the eye Dr. as I knew I was loosing my single vision all together.  I didn't think it all the way through as it was too scary to think where my eye Dr. visit could possibly lead, knowing how horrible it had been years ago. I  just wanted to start gathering information so I could make an educated decision when I was ready to do something about my eyes.  Well, One step led to the next. And to my total surprise, with in a couple months my eyes were fixed. FIXED people!  Never did I hope for Fixed!  Just a little better would have been good. But Fixed?
Now I feel like, 'holy cow!' this is too good to be true, no depression, no extra weight, and  single vision?    Bad things have happened since my eye surgery, causing me great stress and some sadness but that being said. I do tend to focus on these 3 things. Whatever the future brings I have these three blessings to reflect on and be extremely grateful. Before long I know I'm going to loose a dear friend, I'm really going to have to cling to focusing on these three blessings!
Recently, we've had to consider selling our house to make ends meet.  As stressful as this has been it dawned on me one day driving down the road ( Where all great thinking happens) I could have all the money in the world but if I didn't have my vision fixed it wouldn't matter.  Can't have everything Greta!  What more can a girl really ask for?

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